about 2 months ago - Jon Bams - Direct link

Transcript (by Youtube)

1s [Music]
7s [Music]
10s how the hell are you doing chat
13s good morning everybody happy
15s saturday
17s i'm mostly certain
19s like button welcome today 734
26s hey that's a lot of days chad you have
28s any idea i know what do we do yesterday
31s now listen john word has it you've been
33s pissing some people off
35s asking stupid questions about drywall
38s now i don't know what's going on with
39s you at home maybe you ain't getting
41s enough if you know what i mean
43s i've got one question for you
44s what the [ __ ] happened yesterday e.t the
47s extra testicle that's a penis that's not
50s a venus is that a there's that's not a
52s penis that's like the second one or
54s something with e.t the extra testicle
56s what is a bluetooth i i i have never
59s been pregnant you don't like things in
60s your ass i did that to somebody in maybe
62s sixth grade and i thought they were
64s dying i was so scared dude i was so
66s scared you sick toy cars up your bum
68s yeah yeah and so i would [ __ ] my pants
70s every day i did it right
74s uh today's intro to the intro
78s was from our dear bloke
80s uh jimmy the bastard shout out to the
83s homie jimmy the bastard thank you so
85s much for a god-tier intro bruv all right
88s all right thank you for the goddamn
90s intro bruv
91s uh chat if you want to be even remotely
94s as cool as jimmy the bastard
97s uh whip your phone out right now and
99s just record a quick little memo dude
101s send it over to said killer bing bang
103s boom you're a part of goddamn history
106s don't miss out all right now let's play
108s video games you know what we gotta do
110s chat progression and then progression
113s chad did anybody watch that new netflix
116s movie last night with uh jamie foxx
119s it's called again day shift
121s it's good way
123s it really didn't reel it in
126s but very entertaining very fun movie
129s good movie
132s i mean not really
134s uh i do recommend it though chat it's
136s awesome
137s jamie foxx thanks for 26 months john i
141s appreciate you brother family
146s jamie foxx and sometimes snoop dogg
150s as vampire hunters
152s that's what it is bro as vampire hunters
155s what's a good movie then
157s uh well good movie is uh a well-written
160s script well directed good lighting good
163s cinematography
165s uh good editing good effects if any
169s uh
170s yeah that that's a good movie
172s this is an entertaining movie
174s where there's some uh there's some good
176s jokes but there's a lot of bad jokes
179s there's a lot of just like
181s clear joke delivery and then just
183s straight face like
185s you know not not great jokes uh bad
188s acting
189s uh
190s you know not a great script
193s some some trashy cgi yeah i mean like
196s it's good it's worth watching but it's
198s not like whoa this is gonna get an oscar
201s right that's the difference
204s uh if it makes me laugh i call it good
206s i'm a plebian
207s it is good just described star wars as a
210s good movie now watch you fat
212s [ __ ]
215s chat there's a difference between a good
217s movie and a good movie
220s right there's a difference between a
222s good movie
224s and a good movie like there's a
226s difference between a good movie
228s and a movie that's good you know what
230s i'm saying nope like you would say uh
233s like you like a you like a let's see
235s what does jordan like
237s jordan likes uh billy madison you would
239s say like billy madison's a good movie
241s right you're entertained
243s right you're entertained by billy
244s madison you're laughing you think it's
247s funny you like the cameos good movie
249s right but that ain't gonna win an oscar
251s why not
257s there's levels to the good right so you
259s can have a good movie but then you could
261s have like a good movie you know what i
264s mean
265s so like picture billy madison but like
267s a pro cinematographer
270s that'd be so weird like high quality
272s lighting a score
274s a real nice score
276s okay we're really what i'm trying to say
278s is there's levels there's levels to it
281s right so it was a good movie but it
284s wasn't a good movie
287s criteria do you work with chad don't
289s even start acting like you don't know
291s what i'm talking about
292s don't even
294s don't even that's not confusing
300s everything everywhere all at once five
302s star movie
304s ace ventura
306s hilarious
307s not the same
309s both good totally different worlds
312s that's so easy to understand chat what
314s do you mean bro
316s there's levels don't even look i am not
319s entertaining chat's
321s uh dented head okay look chat's head it
324s got dented they hit it on a railing they
327s walked into a bar right that's a joke i
330s think uh they walked into a i'm not high
332s bro
334s this is so easy to understand
337s this is so easy to understand
340s you know
342s oh oh oh oh we're going too far
344s okay okay dude we got to do the goddamn
348s sage shot oh chad we're only doing seat
352s you know the routine we're gonna do like
353s four rows and then we switch
355s and then we switch up but we gotta get
357s some seat progress clearly as high as
359s elon
360s uh
361s elon is definitely sober he's an
364s upstanding citizen basically you are
366s saying that every movie is a good movie
369s and have you seen the lighthouse trash
371s movie
373s any movie that entertains you
376s any movie that entertains you you would
378s call good which you would also call
381s forrest gump good but forrest gump is
384s like a way higher tier movie
387s than ace ventura pet detective but
389s they're both good but one's clearly more
392s good
393s right on account of uh how it was made
396s and whatnot so stop playing games shall
399s we see through your manipulation of
401s shenanigans
402s other than the lighthouse this is every
404s jumbam's movie review it's not a good
407s movie but it's awesome yes
410s but it's not good but it's worth the
412s watch yes
413s but good movie no by era buss's logic
416s you should never watch a movie unless
418s it's a five star uh oh you know i'm just
421s having to educate weekend chair about
423s how this levels you know
426s chat doesn't understand levels
427s everything is binary to twitch chat it's
430s honor it's off it's good or it's bad
432s it's not the way the cookie crumbles
434s bruce nolan what kind of cookie
438s macadamia nut chocolate chip oatmeal
441s raisin idiot snickerdoodle is fine of
445s high quality of a high standard quality
448s superior satisfactory acceptable
451s adequate in order is adequate up to the
454s mark up to standard up to par competent
457s not bad all right excellent superb
460s outstanding magnificent of the highest
463s quality of the highest standard
465s exceptional marvelous wonderful
468s first-rate first-class superlative
471s splendid admirable worthy sterling
474s informal super great okay hunky dory get
478s scammed nerd
480s thank you those are all words to
482s describe me
484s thank you so much i agree that's why
486s we're all in this splendid community
488s [ __ ]
489s yeah i mean
491s pass me the peanuts
493s hand me the bag of peanuts had enough of
495s this [ __ ]
496s there's level c fatness well yeah yeah
499s that's true too
501s right you could say two people are fat
503s but one of them's clearly going to be
505s fatter than the other right so
508s that's uh that's how i come to my
510s extraordinarily
512s high tier way of rating movies what do
514s we need wheat for we don't
517s we literally don't
519s chat uh forced me to do the replay
524s what is this chat conversation oh we're
526s just discussing the theory of the
528s theoretical physics involved with
531s quantum entanglement across uh entered
534s intergalactic space travel
536s and whether or not that would have any
538s bearing on the james one space
540s telescope's infrared uh camera when it
544s gets imported into photoshop to add all
546s the little sparkly bits in the color
548s that's not actually into it so we were
551s just discussing you know how how that
552s should affect the budget in the long
554s term
555s and uh the micro economic situation
557s within nasa at the moment versus the
560s macroeconomics of the uh the world
562s situation which is you know like heading
563s into a recession right now so you know
565s it's a very deep conversation but
567s hopefully that caught you up a little
568s bit so feel free to jump in there
570s midiverse smith how's it going
573s yo you can win a metaverse award at the
576s mtv video music awards now chat
579s [Laughter]
582s that's so
585s like appropriate it's just so
587s appropriate i love it
592s and the award for best board monkey nft
596s still channel points reward to use the
598s wheat farm
600s use the we farm how much is that like 70
603s million channel points
607s metaverse is nuts or something like that
609s yeah i agree
611s i agree with that
612s there it is boom
616s another layer down chatter not a [ __ ]
618s layer down bing
621s bing bing bong
624s all right so how many does that mean we
625s did today we did one two three four five
628s six
629s all right that should be good for today
631s look at how much is left
635s good
636s bro six a day so it's one two three four
639s it's like five more days of planting
641s seeds here
644s five more mofo pho dice my
648s you also i think i could just do this
654s pie fix
658s that's how they collect chat well
660s they're all going to get picked up so
661s you're not going to see but they just
663s loop around
665s like that
667s all right where do i leave off on this
668s thing
673s boo oh
676s [ __ ] i know where we left off
679s and i hope you're excited
681s i hope you're excited for it oh let's go
685s i know what we're
687s missing oh whoa
691s yeah we had the gravel oh my god you're
694s right it's gravel
702s gravel
703s [Music]
706s from where
708s am i gonna get gravel dude
712s oh this is i am devastated right now
716s i gotta go gravel hunting
720s okay get cows each out we gotta go
722s straight this way for
724s a day
728s you said you were gonna fix gold farm
729s now i have trust issues now i'm going to
731s dodge that gold farm until i got
734s optifine
736s i can't see [ __ ]
738s and the glass triggers me
740s so i gotta wait till optifine's done and
742s then we'll do that
745s penguins barter gravel
747s they do that's very true information
749s thank you
751s that is very true information
754s what's next after the work farm
758s everything it never stops bro
762s you don't stop till you get it up but
763s get him up
765s did about that bop
769s god i [ __ ] left the ender chest
773s oh my god i left the ender chest it's
777s fine chad i'm fine
779s honestly
780s i think i'm good
785s thank god somebody mentioned that like
787s literally thank the lord
791s uh you just mentioned that bro are we
794s there yet no we ain't even [ __ ] close
796s because i gotta go backtracking a
798s thousand blocks
799s all right what part happens next here
804s let's start with a little piece of walls
806s so we can figure out what in the funk we
807s do man we'll start with that little
809s chunker right there
812s so we first must go yabba-dabba-doo and
814s then pop pop pop-a-dop
817s all right we're cooking with turkey
818s bacon chap
820s cha i don't know if i gotta do that like
822s that because the stare is gonna be up
824s against it
825s so do i actually go to
829s do we actually do this
832s so that we have the full
834s white block i think we do
836s yeah
838s yeah that's a frame for that right there
840s yeah boys final uh final dinghy over
843s here final dinghy over here boys oh [ __ ]
846s wait why how is that possible
857s why didn't i have that on the other wall
870s oh because i didn't even do that yet
872s what a [ __ ]
874s and you know why that's not on the other
875s wall beams because you haven't even done
876s the other wall yet you big no brain have
878s an idiot
880s sorry chap had to have a little rant
882s about myself real quick stupid i'm
885s sitting here going why are the two sides
887s different oh i don't know bams maybe
889s because you haven't done one of them yet
890s you an unbearable [ __ ] good lord bro
893s how are you even breathing are you
895s manually breathing
897s is your body even capable of auto
900s breathing
902s good lord you mess of a human
906s sorry chap i'm just having at it myself
908s real quick
909s just having that myself real quick
912s it is different i told you
921s why though what is different
943s uh
951s why didn't that side do this
955s there we go
956s that should do it
960s i know what i'm doing chat
963s i'm a pro minecrafter dudes
966s boom
967s there we go holy sh we did the walls
970s chat wow
974s all walled out dudes
977s boom
978s walls are walled
981s boy all right now we need one billion
987s smooth court stairs
989s should be easy to get
991s but that's got to be enough i'm going
993s with that to start there's no way bro
995s it's not that much
999s i didn't the twitch chat did it
1002s and not me
1004s twitch chat gave a hundred subs i stream
1007s late
1009s all part of my plan yeah i'm trying to
1011s dodge the cheeseburgers i don't want
1013s anything to do with the cheeseburgers
1016s what are you doing
1019s waiting for i feel like if i end the
1021s stream you're gonna assault me
1023s are you here to assault me
1027s with a string cheese you're going to
1029s assault me with a string cheese
1032s uh you know i assault with a string
1033s cheese i might be interested honestly
1036s i might be interested
1038s in an assault by string cheese idiot
1042s sorry amanda sorry you do have cyan
1045s stairs you can use oxidized copper
1047s stairs or warped wood from nether the
1049s cyan-ish cyan-ish yeah i'm fixing to
1053s have a string cheese incident after the
1055s stream chat
1057s chat
1058s that's a chat that side
1063s or that side
1064s number one or number two
1068s this is number one
1071s this is number two
1073s this is number one
1075s this is number two it looks like mostly
1078s ones
1079s what a
1089s punk
1090s [Music]
1095s wow
1096s that was actually really fun
1099s i'm not going to lie to you chat that
1101s was a little uh that was kind of fun
1103s chad i got to get the hell out of here
1104s boys i got chocolate the wife's mad at
1107s me the kids want to go play in the
1108s backyard i got work to do man i got work
1111s to do
1112s i gotta get the hell out of here dude
1116s what
1118s subscribe for more